Oh, youll come back to me, I imagine you thinking.
Believe me, I miss you too.
I thought about you one morning as I packed my three boys lunch for their new school.
I started to panic.
Did I add too much garlic to thesoba noodles?Should I leave out the kimchi?
I worry that kids will make fun of the boys because of the lunches and snacks I pack them.
I never had to worry about these things with youits what pains me most about leaving you.
Remember that time when Ethan started drawing deeply insulting pictures of me I could never throw away?
The doors would close after him, and the wheels went round and round your wild, erratic streets.
His tiny body jerked forward whenever the bus driver slammed on the breaks.
It turns out that motherhood is nothing but the distance between pure joy and sheer terror.
But once he entered the double-doors of the school building, I felt that hed be protected.
A laminated poster that hung on the hallway bulletin board told me so.
To me, this sign said, You be you.
Also, an extra-large handful of (shrimp-flavored crackers) for snack time.
I pictured kids from all cultural backgrounds opening their packed lunches with no regard for judgment.
Sure, there will always be cruel kids.
Sometimes Id probe, Sweetie, what did your friends eat for school lunch today?
Whatever their mommy said.
Hed divulge nothing, but his answer confirmed what I already knew.
School lunches were being packed every morning across the city with only love and no fear.
We live in a new town now and I miss you every day.
And because of this, my children know love.
Be back soon,
A grateful mom
P.S.
